Smiling’s My Favorite

The past couple of days have been filled with a lot of self-induced intensity for this awkward dancer.  You know, music with lyrics that pack a deep personal meaning and a lot of self reflection; trying to regain my footing after being unexpectedly grounded.

This morning, after being slapped in the face by 2-degree air when I let my dog outside, I threw on a Spotify mix literally called “Mood Booster” and am already starting to feel like myself again.  Positive. Determined.  In control.  Focused.

I don’t even really know what specifically knocked me on my ass the past couple of days.  But I do know it’s okay to feel like that every once in awhile.  Perhaps it’s life’s way of forcing you to re-prioritize what you’re doing.

I always encourage you to try and “Find the Positive” in every situation.  (I smell a Twitter hashtag… #ftp?)  And while it was hard for me to do that myself this weekend, I did find it eventually.  It made me look back and identify other periods where shitty situations turned out to be a positive in the end.

The main one, for me, of course being the lifelong battle with body image and the battle against fat.  All the failures, all the self-loathing, all the years of not feeling good enough… made me who I am today.  Stronger.  Confident.  And maybe just a little bit wiser.  Dropping 120 pounds was HARD and wasn’t just about losing the weight.  It was about shedding the emotional garbage that kept me from succeeding in the past.  The HARD is what made it REAL.  The HARD is what made that struggle a positive.

The point I’m dancing around, is that it’s okay to feel down on occassion.  You’re going to doubt yourself sometimes.  The important thing to always, always remember is that that feeling won’t last forever… and that you’re already stronger because of it.  Keep moving forward, even if you’re heart’s not totally in it.  Your heart will catch up.

Be well.  Keep going.  Find the positive.




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