Four Weeks

Four weeks.  Twenty-nine days.  A month.  However you want to describe it, it’s changed me.

I’ve been pushed harder than I have in a long time and it made me realize how stalled I had become.  I’d even say I had become lazy in my own personal growth.

Professionally, I was in a job I had outgrown.  Sure, I had tough days, but it was all stuff I could do in my sleep.   I was bored and that trickled into other parts of my life.  Every day for the past four weeks, as I’ve started a new job, I have had to push myself and prove that I was the right person to choose out of the other 203 people who applied.  There have been moments where I’ve questioned my ability… but mostly I feel motivated to be better and smarter than the day before and to prove those moments of doubt wrong.

Personally, I’ve had to practice patience and understanding as I navigated my way through a break-up.  I  have so many questions I can’t ask and I’m learning to be okay with that.  Maybe it’s not for me to understand.   I’ve gone through some pretty dark and painful days… but I’ve come out the other side and believe I am a better person for it.  I still wonder about what she’s thinking… I wonder if I’ve already been forgotten.   I wonder what else is going on her life and how she’s doing.   The unknowns have been hard to make peace with, but I have to have faith that if what I know in my heart to be true is true, it shall be.

Throughout everything that’s been happening in my professional and personal life over the past twenty-nine days, throughout all the ups and downs, I feel like I’ve grown exponentially as a human.  I truly feel awakened.  I think sometimes life needs to shake us up in order to wake us up and help us understand who we want to be.  To make us realize that we have to keep trying in this life, no matter what gets thrown our way.  No matter what doubts creep into our minds.

I’ve recently started watching a new series when I have time and in the very first episode, the lead character gives a pep talk to a friend who is having doubts about the relationship he is in,  if he’s good enough for the woman he wants to propose to and if they’ll work out in the end.  She tells him: “She’s in this with you.  If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work, but you have to try, because if you try, if you leap and you try, and it doesn’t work out, it’s not on you.”

That stuck with me and I believe is exactly the way we all need to approach all aspects of our lives.  Give it our all, take that leap and try.

 

 

 

 

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